Sara

Blog Moved To...

2008-07-14T16:27:00.002-05:00

http://jeremysara.blogspot.com

It's for both of us. But still mainly about me, of course.

Yay

2008-05-09T02:27:00.003-05:00

I have designed and purchased business cards. They're very simple but designed well. Perfect when looking for a design or art job. Now the job hunt begins. I have a very long list of design firms and architecture firms and home builders to send my resume too. As well as some vets, who get a different resume because at one point I was going to be a veterinarian so I've taken all the relevant classes to assist a vet. I've even stuck my hand into a cow's stomach. Smelly. I'm currently still working at the magazine because although graduates are supposed to be terminated from their jobs on May 9th, my boss argued to keep me through the summer so I have three months for my job search.

My husband takes the DAT on June 16. Applies to dental school on June 1. We've picked 15. And yes to all my Ablog friends, Richmond is one of those 15. The Virginias, North Carolina, Boston, New York, Arizona, Dallas, Minnesota, California, Pennsylvania...we're applying everywhere. I'm personally rooting for Dallas because that's where we'd like to settle eventually. They give preference to residents of Texas and Utah! What a happy coincidence. But I'd be very happy with NYU, too, because I love New York City.

In fact, we just got back from NYC. My parents took us for my graduation present. The Metropolitan Museum was amazing and the Museum of Modern Art was my own personal heaven. I bought a print of Picasso's Les Demoiselles d'Avignon and we're putting it in our bathroom to shock people who tend to be shocked by art because really, if any art is going to shock someone who tends to be shocked by art it's Picasso's group of distorted prostitutes. Or, of course, Francis Bacon's Painting, 1946" but even I feel that is a bit much for my bathroom. It has tons of meaning and it's a very deep painting but it's also somewhat disturbing. Plus, they didn't sell that print. I also bought a Jackson Pollock print, of course, because I love him. And Andy Warhol's Campbell's soup can for the kitchen. Because it just makes sense. Sadly, they didn't sell any Franz Marc prints. I will have to buy those on the internet.

We also saw Wicked while we were there. It was fantastic. But we had the understudy Elphaba and she wasn't as good as the Elphaba we'd seen in Denver with the touring company. She just kind of spoke the high notes, almost like she couldn't reach them so she didn't try. But then she'd hit a fantastic high note and you'd think, "Well, why didn't you do that when it was REALLY important during Defying Gravity?" But still, fantastic. It's coming to Utah next summer. I check daily to see if tickets are on sale yet.

Well, that's pretty much caught everyone up so I'm off to bed. I have Friday's off with my husband because I go to work insanely early to get Friday's off so while it's not strictly necessary that I go to bed, I'm getting tired seeing as it is 2 a.m. and I've been up since 5:45 a.m.

Oh, and I didn't fail statistics. It's the most failed class at BYU. Leaving it until my last semester wasn't my best idea ever but it worked out. Studying for the final had me in hysterics because I just turned dumb for one day there and couldn't figure anything out, but the actual test went incredibly well.

12 More Days

2008-03-31T15:30:00.003-05:00

Twelve more days of class and I will be officially done with college (minus the walking and the cap and gown).

I should really start sending out my resume and putting together my design portfolio. I have my eyes on a few architects here that I think would be fantastic to work for, including a couple of national companies that might have an office in the city we end up in for dental school, which could mean I could just transfer when we moved and I wouldn't have to worry about searching for a job again. I have until August when I have to give up my job (sad) because I will no longer have a "student" status.

Also looking for illustration jobs. I work for a magazine right now, so maybe something will open up this summer and I'll just move on upstairs. Doubtful because I believe we tend to hire out for illustration, but you never know. Maybe that's just because they haven't had any illustrators apply.

I'm also taking that preveterinary preceptorship class in the Spring. It runs a rescu shelter so I'll learn all I need to know to be a vet tech which would also be a perfect job for me because animals are involved. Either way, I've taken all the interior design classes here at BYU and I've taken the animal nutrition classes and whatnot here as well. And I've just always been good at drawing and painting. So I have options. No need to freak out.

Get me out of here

2008-02-20T17:18:00.005-06:00

I've been trying to find a job in either art or design because I graduate in April and it'd be nice to know my options. Utah has zero opportunities. There is a staggering lack of art museums around here. The only design job I found is for Bassett Furniture. I don't want to be a salesman. I don't do well with sales. I want to work for an actual interior design firm where I actually design, not sell existing furniture and just help people arrange it. Graphic design jobs are everywhere, interior design is nowhere. We need to move to Dallas. Or New York City or somewhere equally job-equipped. Or I need to open my own business, but there's no point here because we're moving to some unknown state in a year and a half. My mom is gathering up a list of all the architecture firms she used to work with while she was working here. Hopefully there will be a design job somewhere in there.

It's Jeremy's birthday tomorrow. He'll be 25. He's getting golf clubs (fairway woods, not a whole set of clubs because that's crazy expensive and he already has a set), a bowling ball, and an iPod nano. I got a bowling ball too because there's no point in getting one for one of us and having the other use a ball that doesn't fit their hands. Hopefully I'll like bowling more with my own ball and my own shoes (I can't wear bowling shoes from the alley--gross). We joined the Tucano's birthday club for both of us, so we each get a free meal for our birthdays. That was fun. But Jeremy is saving The Spaghetti Factory for his birthday night dinner because their free birthday dessert is out-of-this-world better than the ones they charge for. It's amazing.

Apple is coming out with a new shuffle in 2gb. I have a green, pink and silver one already (one for the gym, one for rock and one for pop music). I caught a glimpse of new colors, but now I can't find it anywhere on the internet. There was a fantastic plum colored one that I feel a need to purchase. I'm hoping they actually do come in that color. If so, that'll be my "favorite songs" shuffle.

Anthropologie Item of the Day

My Sephora Addiction, Shopping Snobbery and Greece

2008-02-08T14:36:00.000-06:00

As we walk into Sephora:
Salesperson: "Can I help you find anything?"
Jeremy (to me): "This is a makeup store. Like any girl would walk in here and say, 'Oh no! I'm lost!'"

That quote came to mind because I'm almost out of makeup so that means I need to make both a trip to Sephora.com (we don't have one in Utah, it's a shame, it really is a fantastic place) and Macy's because I happened to run out of pretty much everything at once. All I have left is my Chanel mascara and my makeup brushes. Sometimes I wish that I was one of those "drugstore girls," but then I look at the complexions of most "drugstore girls" and realize why I'm a makeup snob. I have highly sensitive skin--even wind freaks my entire body out--so I have to use Clarins, Lancome and Givenchy. Givenchy is my favorite, but when I can get by with a bottle of Clarins foundation for $30 less than a bottle of Givenchy foundation and everything turns out alright in the end, I'll do it. I won't give up my Givenchy powder, though. Thank goodness I have a husband who is just fine with my anti-cheap attitude.

I am also a clothes snob. Anthropologie is one of the only places I really shop. Because of this I actually buy stuff much less frequently than I would if I had another favorite store. But it's really a money pit. My mom jokingly calls it "Philanthropy" because all of our money goes there. We share this store as a favorite store which makes for fantastic over-the-phone shopping dates--her in Minneapolis and me in Salt Lake. We went there for her birthday. She got a cookbook and some salt and pepper shakers, I contemplated a shirt but realized that I needed nice, non-plastic cereal bowls more and ended up getting those. I'm happy with that purchase because the bowls really do make me happy, especially filled with frozen strawberries for a snack. Yum.

These are reasons why I'm glad I got lucky enough to marry a man who wants to be an orthodontist.

My brother-in-law Colby just got his LDS mission call to Athens, Greece. I'm very excited for him, especially since that is the one place in the world that I want to go most (my major emphasis here at BYU is Greek art and history--which it is very difficult to do anything with after graduation, which is why I've decided to be a vet tech--more on that later). So yay for Colby. I told him that Jeremy and I would be happy to come pick him up when he's done. I was planning on taking Jeremy somewhere for his graduation present (my parents are taking us to NYC for mine in April/May) and we were thinking Paris because hey, I can speak the language and it'd be a really great time, but maybe we'll switch it to Athens. I'd rather go there even though I can't speak the language.

Addition:

I was looking at shoes today at Anthropologie and ran across these:

All currently out of my price range, but I'm lusting.

I really am not that fantastic at blogging...

2008-02-01T14:55:00.001-06:00

I don't do it often enough. I should fix that.

I went back to my old hangout, the Achenblog, today. Fantastic place. Realized I just missed J.A. being here, on my campus. I should really visit D.C. sometime and go to a BPH with everyone. I was actually offered D.C. for my graduation trip from my parents but I chose NYC because I've been to D.C. I've also been to NYC but with a choir group and boy was that a fiasco. Our tour guide was useless. He took us to FAO Schwartz. Now, it is a fantastic toy store. But we were all seniors in high school and I guarantee that each of the girls there was looking wistfully down Fifth Avenue wondering why we ran past all those magnificent shopping experiences to come to a toy store. So I chose NYC so that we could do it right. My parents took me to D.C. and we did that right, now it's New York's turn. I'm currently wrestling with the idea of putting out $450 for Wicked tickets on Broadway. They have some left. Orchestra seating. It's very tempting, but I've seen Wicked already and it's cheaper in Chicago and we can easily hop on the train to Chicago from my parent's house this summer during our visit.

I've taken every Tuesday off this year. It's as if I get through Monday and think, "Okay, time for a break." I only have one class and I don't have to work on Tuesdays. I think this trend will continue.

I got an A on my thesis. I didn't even look at my other grades. (Later I did, but the first time I checked them I just saw that and thought, "Whew, I can graduate.") It was a relief. And then I forgot to go and pick it up for future proof that yes, my future children's mother got an A on her thesis. They'll just have to take my word for it.

Done

2007-12-26T01:07:00.001-06:00

My thesis is done. I have turned it in. I have presented it. My finals are done. The semester is over. Whew.

Relaxation for two and a half weeks. Yes, short break, but at least we get out for summer early.

Christmas was fantastic. I got a diamond ring (it was on sale, I played the "I want that" wife card) and clothes and Anthropologie goodies. I got Jeremy a bunch of clothes that he's wanted and a camelback for when he goes golfing. Don't want a dehydrated husband.

Now for sleep. In the hustle and bustle I've managed to become slightly sick. Bad cough and general ickiness. Time for sleeping.

Birthday!

2007-11-02T00:19:00.000-05:00

I have another French oral exam on Monday. Crap. Hives are guaranteed because, I'm not gonna lie, I have not paid much attention to the last two chapters.

I also realized this week that I have a paper on the Justinian and Theodora mosaics in the church of San Vitale in Ravenna, Italy due on Tuesday. 12 pages. Haven't started.

And Tuesday is my birthday, so I have to be done by Monday because I don't go to school on my birthday.

And my thesis in its final completed form is due next Friday.

After next week the rest of the semester should be breezy. But why oh why did this hectic week have to fall on my BIRTHDAY WEEK?! Doesn't fate know that my birthday is a full one to two week celebration which should not be marred by countless papers and tests (oh, yes, Mesoamerican test next Thursday, too)? Where's the justice? I should be able to kick back and relax, enjoy my multiple cakes from multiple sources who also realize just how important my birthday is and do some recreational reading rather than non-recreational writing and reading.

Can you tell I'm burned out? April and that cap and gown really can't come fast enough.

My Thesis is Almost Done

2007-10-15T00:11:00.001-05:00

The first draft, anyway. I spent 6 hours just typing typing typing today. My right palm muscle feels bruised. Think what you want, but I think that's some pretty intense typing. I've never worn out my palms typing before.

My husband got a new computer game so I was free to concentrate solely on the thesis without feeling like I should be talking to him more. Because of the 6 hours and intense focus I finally have a clear direction. For the past month and a half I've been writing the practicums for the thesis class and none of them have given me any direction because, really, what does Freud know about Aztecs and their cosmology? There are certain aspects of Aztec and Mayan life that Freud could apply to (like the genital bloodletting to re-birth the gods--ouch) but that's still not as mentally twisted as Freud tends to be. Most of the time I was able to manipulate the topics so that I could write a somewhat coherent short paper, but a couple of them just completely threw me for a loop. Feminism and the Aztec culture in general? Sure, in a round-about way. Feminism and the Aztec Calendar Stone in particular? Not really. The binary opposition was the easiest paper, but I'm getting sidetracked. None of them helped me with the direction of my thesis, which was their intended purpose and that is why the thesis class was changed last year to include practicums into the curriculum. (I personally think that was a mistake because modern day theories often do not lend themselves to ancient or non-western art for the most part--there are exceptions, but for the most part, no.) But after reading reading reading books and articles and journals and microfilms of codices I finally have direction just in the nick of time. I'm very relieved. I can have this first draft done by Thursday so I have time to get feedback from my adviser before the theses are even due for peer review.

It's all about the purpose of the stone. It was for sacrifices to the sun. So my paper is all about the reason for the sacrifices, how they were done, and the iconography on the stone reinforcing the use and meaning of the stone. To be honest, the more I read the more morbid I think it is, but I see how it was absolutely necessary to their religion so I'm completely fine with the turn that my thesis has taken. It's incredibly interesting to me and I'm not even worried about the symposium when I'll have to present the paper (not yet, at least...). I just need to get down the pronunciations (hey, I spelled it in English! I'm constantly spelling that word in French lately). Huitzilopochtli, Nanahuatzin, Coyolxauhqui and Centohuitznahua are not words common to my vocabulary but are also words that I really would like to avoid tripping over during the presentation. I'd like to appear that I know this topic backwards and forwards.

Unneeded French Stress

2007-10-08T15:52:00.000-05:00

I did a fantastic job! She said my speed on my reading passage was perfect and that I had the vocab ("mon vol" - my flight) down wonderfully! And I didn't even get hives!

Now for my written Mesoamerican test at 4 this afternoon. I'm not as worried about that one. If there is a civilization I know . . . well, it's Greek. But Mesoamerican probably ties.

Oh, and this morning we locked both sets of keys in the car while the car was running.

I was dropping Jeremy off for class so I got out of my side, locked my door and closed it. He got out of his door, apparently locked it, but left it open for me. Well, we were on a hill so the door closed. That was good for a laugh.

French Stress and My Husband, the Fashion Maven

2007-10-08T00:45:00.001-05:00

I cried tonight. Because of French. That's a new low. But I have my Mesoamerican art midterm tomorrow and really, the deities are very confusing. Lots of X's in the names. Hard to remember the difference between One Hunahpu, Seven Hunahpu and just plain ol' Hunahpu. Of course, I remember (One and Seven are brothers and One is plain ol' Hunahpu's father, and Xbalanque is his twin brother and they were born from his [One Hunahpu's] spit that impregnated Lady Blood after his [One Hunahpu's] head was cut off in the underworld (Xibalba) and was planted and a tree grew that apparently still had spit in it...and could talk. But still. Stressful. And tomorrow I have a French oral exam. So I cried because I don't like to look like an idiot and there was a good chance that I would. But then I got myself together and wrote out all the possible conversation topics that could come up and came up with canned phrases that can be used for any subtopics within those topics, and some of the phrases even transcend topics. So if I know those, I'm good. And I figure if I stick in something like, "Il faut pour mon bonheur" (It is necessary for my happiness) after I say something like, "Mon mari faire la vaiselle and ranger la salle de bains" (My husband does the dishes and cleans up the bathroom) I can get a laugh out of her and voila! Time killed.

Speaking of my husband, he's incredibly great with fashion. I mean, before he met me he was pretty good with it, but now he's amazing. I needed a new jacket. I have a great coat, but not one single fall jacket to my name. So we embarked upon a trip to the mall and after several stores with no luck (well, there was luck in Banana Republic where we found a kelly green wool jacket that was the stuff dreams are made of and I was trying to justify the $218 for a jacket until I finally decided that'd be stupid when there was probably one somewhere else for under $100) we ended up in the Gap. Not only did he beeline to the best men's coat in the place (because he has jackets, but no coats) but he also beelined to the best fudge colored mid-thigh length jacket with big buttons for moi (see, utilizing my French). It's the best jacket ever. It goes great with my blue eyes and newly red hair. Then he found me a very Audrey Hepburn-esque sweater jacket. He's still hard to convince when it comes to things that aren't "classic" looking, but he's got the classic fashion down. I never have to worry what he'll come up with for Christmas. It's always from Anthropologie and it's always fantastic. He feels really proud when he finds something that I adore. He was in fine form this weekend. Of course there are also the times when I find something I adore and he thinks I'm being sarcastic...

Midterms, Masters and a PhD?

2007-10-05T23:40:00.000-05:00

I have two big midterms next week, a French oral exam (shoot me) and I have to have made headway on my as-yet-unstarted thesis because I have to meet with my adviser sometime next week. I'll probably put it off until the next Tuesday during his office hours so that it gives me the weekend to bang it out so that for the rest of the semester I can just revise, have it looked at, revise, have it looked at, etc . . . until it's due and I have to present it. Ugh. Present it. In front of people. Oddly, I'm much more panicked about the idea of French oral exams than I am about presenting my thesis at a symposium. If anyone is in town on December 7th and looking for something to do and is feeling a distinct lack of Aztec art in their lives, feel free to come to my thesis presentation. It's on the Aztec Calendar Stone.

Today during my thesis class we were talking about post-structuralism, structuralism, hermeneutics (I'd never heard of it before this either), deconstruction and Foucault. I love that class. It's so much more fun than any other class I've taken during my college career. We just sit around in a conference room and discuss. I was in charge of the structuralism/post-structuralism discussion. The Master's program was also brought up. For a few minutes I was very intrigued. And then I remembered that I'm very burnt out. The last thing I want to do is graduate in April and start my Masters in April, too. On top of that, I really do not want to learn another language right now. French is enough for me. I will get my Master's (and if we end up in New York or something, Sotheby's Graduate program here I come -- it's the best one I've run across so far. Plus, it's Sotheby's. What I wouldn't give to say, "I studied art and art history at Sotheby's in New York City." That's the best sentence that could ever come out of my mouth.) but I won't be getting it at BYU. BYU has one of the most comprehensive art history Master's programs in the nation, but I'm not going on to get my PhD so if I get my Master's at whatever college we end up for Jeremy's dental school (say, University of Minnesota--I love their art history program) it is not like I'll be getting a second rate education, nor will I feel less prepared for my PhD because like I said, I don't plan on getting a PhD. At least right now. Though the PhD holds quite a bit of allure. The dissertation to get the PhD, however, not quite as much allure. Though if I really think about it, I would really like a PhD. Even if my plan is just to be a stay-at-home mom who paints and sells her paintings on eBay and such. It'd be nice to have.

On the lighter side of things, we re-did our apartment. Changed the office and the bedroom colors so the bedroom is now blues rather than reds and browns--it's much more relaxing. Plus, I love my paintings above the bed.

Updates in the Life of Sara

2007-09-27T23:52:00.000-05:00

Bullet form updates because there's much too much to catch up on for full length sentences.

Currently writing my thesis. It's on the Aztec Sun Stone. I'll be glad when I'm done with it and have finally presented it in December.
I hate my French class more and more with each passing day because (and I'll own up to this) I am awful with languages. I'm not ashamed of that fact. I'm very okay with that fact.
I have been painting a lot more lately. I'm not so intimidated by my paint brush anymore. I'm also not intimidated by my pencils anymore. It's fantastic.
I'm a senior in college. Finally. I'm very over school. I've always been the brainy chick. I'm quite done with that. I'm content to be the stay-at-home artsy chick who likes to decorate and paint and who occasionally breeds her corgis.
I have a torn right bicep muscle and currently can't lift anything heavier than a fork. Not exaggerating. Pop cans cause excruciating pain.
The aforementioned torn bicep muscle has put a damper on my recently acquired nightly racquetball hobby. I'm going out of my mind without it.
I feel very inadequate lately. School-wise. I've been pulling great grades. I even pulled an A on my French test (no one was more surprised than me, let me tell you). But I'm still feeling inadequate. It might be because I'm surrounded by people who are all hyped about school right now because they're not seniors still having to take care of their French requirement for the art history major. It might be because I don't care and these gung-ho girls surrounding me make me feel inadequate because I just don't have that level of enthusiasm lately and I feel like I should. It also might be because I am an idiot for feeling inadequate merely because I'm quite ready to graduate and I realize that I'm an idiot for feeling inadequate for that.
My step-sister is getting married in a month and she is making the bridesmaids get dresses from David's Bridal. I thought that brides these days had realized that actual "bridesmaid dresses" are generally hideous and can never be used again. I allowed her to get a dress from Banana Republic or Anthropologie for my wedding. This is how she repays me. With taffeta. Shiny blue taffeta. David's Bridal is an abomination of a store.
Jeremy had to get a root canal on a tooth that hadn't been filled correctly years ago so is now dead--$969. That was really fun. Love handing over the debit card for that.
If I don't start doing better on my diet I'll throw myself off a cliff. My doctor put me on a medication for my nerve pain (which WASN'T nerve pain) that caused a 25 lb weight gain in....drum roll please...1.5 months. Yes. One and one half months. Unnatural! And completely awful. Come to find out that the pain I've had all my life is because of a magnesium deficiency and all I needed to do was go to the health foods store and buy some Dolomite (which is a fancy name for Calcium and Magnesium in one little pill). $3.69. I was paying $60 a month for the Lyrica. $3.69 for 6 months of Dolomite and the best part is, I can finally lose the weight instead of battling intensely to keep it from continuing to go up on that stupid medication. (Why don't doctors get the whole "vitamins and minerals" thing? Tons of tests and they never thought, "Hey, let's check her magnesium levels.") So that's my current pre-occupation. Getting back to where I was pre-Lyrica. It's slow, but I'm getting there. I feel pray to the Symphony chocolate bar this week. And hot chocolate because it's unseasonably cold here.
The feeling of inadequacy I mentioned earlier may also be because of this weight.
I purchased a new Macbook for the writing of my thesis. It's a lifesaver and I love it. I currently can't lift it very easily though because of my injured arm. I can lift it with my left hand but it's awkward because I'm just not used to that.
Someone offered to buy my paintings the other day. I'm very excited about that. I plan on opening an eBay store now that I know that hey, people like what I do. So we'll see how the eBay store thing goes.

And that is about it for now. I plan on writing with more frequency from now on.

Art and Fear: Fears about Yourself

2007-08-24T00:00:00.000-05:00

Today at work I stumbled across a book on our bookshelves here in the studio titled Art and Fear: Observations on the Perils (and Rewards) of Artmaking. It explores the way that art is created, the reasons it often fails to be created and the difficulties that a lot of artists face, causing them to give up on their art along the way. I thought it would be an interesting read, and since I had nothing else to do at the moment, I picked it up. I read the entire book today. It was fantastic and it applied to myself in sections.

At one point the book explored the connection between art and fear. Fears about yourself and fears about others. The "Fears About Yourself" section (with this highly suitable quote at the beginning: "We have met the enemy and he is use. - Pogo") states that fears about artmaking fall into two categories: fears about yourself and fears about your reception by others. Fears about yourself often prevent you from creating your best work, while fears of reception from others prevent you from doing your own work. The part that stuck out to me the most in this section, however, was the section titled "Pretending."

The fear that you're only pretending to do art is the (readily predictable) consequence of doubting your own artistic credentials. After all, you know better than anyone else the accidental nature of much that appears in your art, not to mention all those elements you know originated with others (and even some you never even intended by which the audience has read into your work). From there it's only a short hop to feeling like you're just going through the motions of being an artist. It's easy to imagine that real artists know what they're doing, and that they--unlike you--are entitled to feel good about themselves and their art. Fear that you are not a real artist causes you to undervalue your work.

The chasm widens even further when your work isn't going well, when happy accidents aren't happening or hunches aren't paying off. If you buy into the premise that are can be made only be people who are extra-ordinary, such down periods only serve to confirm that you aren't.

This is my problem. Every time I sit down in front of my canvas surrounded by my brushes and paint, I think, "What if I'm awful? What if I have no ideas? What if I'm just trying to be an artist and failing miserably and everyone around me only says I have talent because they care about me? What if I don't actually have any talent and I'm just playing at painting and drawing?" Once I start painting I get over these initial questions because really, they don't matter. It's just me and the canvas and my head and I can do whatever comes to mind because whatever I put down on that canvas will be my art. My version of art. The book goes on to make a good point about this very thought process:

But while you may feel you're just pretending that you're an artist, there's no way to pretend you're making art. Go ahead, try writing a story while pretending your writing a story. Not possible. Your work may not be what curators want to exhibit or publishers want to publish, but those are different issues entirely.

In other words, if you're making art, you are an artist in your own right. Whether or not you will eventually get your dreamed of one-man exhibit and sell your painting or whether or not your book is picked up by a publishing house isn't the relevant issue in this matter. If you are making art, you're an artist.

This fear of pretending goes hand in hand with the next question that I often ask myself. How much talent, if any, do I actually have for art?

Talent, in common parlance, is "what comes easily." So sooner or later, inevitably, you reach a point where the work doesn't come easily and--Aha!, it's just as you feared! Wrong. By definition, whatever you have is exactly what you need to produce your best work. There is probably no clearer waste of psychic energy than worrying about how much talent you have—and probably no worry more common. This is true even among artists of considerable accomplishment.

Even at best talent remains a constant, and those who rely upon that gift alone, without developing further, peak quickly and soon fade to obscurity . . . Artists get better by sharpening their skills or by acquiring new ones; they get better by learning to work, and by learning from their work.

Talent may get someone off the starting blocks faster, but without a sense of direction or a goal to strive for, it won't count for much. The world is filled with people who were given great natural gifts, sometimes conspicuously flashy gifts, yet never produce anything. And when that happens, the world soon ceases to care whether they are talented.

Looking back, I think I must have some talent. I was able to pick up that pencil and draw a very good picture for someone who had never drawn before. The first time I created a painting, it made sense. My colors turned out exactly how I wanted them to and the finished product pretty well matched what I had in my head when I started the painting. So really, I was able to get off the starting blocks pretty fast. I really do think that my greatest talent lies in my colorist abilities. I know exactly how to mix cornflower blue paint. I can look at a color and say, "That purple has been mixed with yellow and white has been added to turn it into a tone."

So I know I have some artistic talent, even if it doesn't go beyond colors. But like I've already said. I was able to get off the starting blocks quickly. It didn't require much thought. I never learned how to draw or paint, I just did it. So my ever-present worry of "Do I actually have any talent at all?" is really baseless. What I should be asking myself is, "Do I actually have any direction at all? Do I know what I want to paint and where I want to go with it?" Most of the time, yes. Sometimes, no. Those are the times that I really do hope for happy accidents. Most of the time the "happy accidents" fates smile on me. Sometimes they don't. And that's when I question myself. But I really do need to learn that I don't need to question my talent. It's there. It's my direction that I need to question. It's my drive that I need to keep up. If I keep going, talent with aid me. But if I give up, talent won't do me any good.

I also need to recognize that talent doesn't equal perfection, and perfection doesn't equal good art.

If you think good work is somehow synonymous with perfect work, you are headed for big trouble. Art is human; error is human; ergo, art is error. Inevitably, your work will be flawed. Why? Because you're a human being, and only human beings, warts and all, make art.

Ansel Adams, never one to mistake precision for perfection, often recalled the old adage that "the perfect is the enemy of the good," his point being that if he waited for everything in the scene to be exactly right, he'd probably never make a photograph. Adams was right: to require perfection is to invite paralysis.

I've never really expected perfection from my artwork, but I expect pretty close. I suppose I should start going for precision like Ansel Adams does. Do what you're doing as precisely and as well as you can and what you produce will be your best work at that time with what you had available to you. If I clung to the idea of perfection I would never advance in my artmaking. I would cling to what I know very well and what I know I can do perfectly. I'd never take artistic risks, I'd never discover new techniques or ideas. Requiring perfection really would invite paralysis. Requiring perfection would eventually lead you to quit because you'd stop working to avoid making (inevitable) mistakes.

This section of the book also addresses how expectations can also lead an artist to stop working. If expectations always exceed execution and an artist allows him- or herself to become overly bothered by differences between the expectations of the finished product and the actual finished product, this can lead to discouragement and eventually lead to quitting.

Given a small kernel of reality and any measure of optimism, nebulous expectations whisper to you that the work will soar, that it will become easy, that it will make itself. And now and then the sky opens and the work does make itself . . . Unfortunately, expectations based on illusion lead almost always to disillusionment.

I try not to have expectations. To be truthful, I rarely have any expectations at all when I am painting. Occasionally I will paint from expectations. More often, I just paint. When I'm drawing, however, I have expectations. High expectations. I suffer from the aforementioned expectations based on illusion. More often than not I reconcile any imperfections in the drawing with the overall appeal of the drawing and the overall quality of it. Sometimes, however, a drawing is relegated to a drawer, never to be seen again because I can't reconcile the imperfections with the rest of the drawing and I can't seem to fix them, either. To put it bluntly, I disown the drawing. I try not to think that I ever created that drawing.

This is a bad idea. If I am going to learn from my imperfections and learn not to have overly high expectations I need to own that drawing. I need to look at it and say, "I created this. I'm not exactly proud of it, it needs some work and these are the parts that need some work." By doing this I recognize my artistic shortcomings and I am able to advance my skills in those areas because I've brought them to my attention rather than burying them inside a dark drawer.

Shoot. Me.

2006-06-29T15:47:00.000-05:00

So I work in photography for BYU Magazine and law school publications and the university websites and stuff. I edit through the photos and put the good ones onto iView so that anyone in our network--specifically the designers--can see them, choose one, and let me know which one(s) they want in high-res form for their respective projects.

When I started working here in January the department had decided to try out Aperture, a new photo software for Mac computers, instead of using the typical combination of Photoshop and Bridge. My workflow went something like this:

Import the photos into Aperture from the digital card -- Watch it for an hour because importing into Aperture takes ridiculous amounts of time and slows down the computer so you cannot be productive in the meantime -- Edit through them -- Export them back out of Aperture onto one of the regular hard drives -- Watch it for another hour -- Convert the photos to low-res in Photoshop ridiculously fast -- put into iView. All together about 3 hours depending on the amount of pictures.

I finally convinced them that the workflow was a little on the insane side--Aperture added about three steps, adding up to between two and three hours of my day that could be spent doing more productive things than importing then exporting. So we went back to Bridge and Photoshop and my workflow went something like this:

Import the photos onto the hard drive from the digital card -- Edit through them -- Convert to low-res in Photoshop --Put into iView. All told, about 30 to 45 minutes, depending on the amount of pictures.

So I spent over a week exporting photos out of Aperture onto our regular hard drive to be used in Bridge.

Today, my boss--my exaperating boss--says, "I'm liking Aperture more and more. It has that magnifying glass." What? A magnifying glass? That's why you like Aperture?! I just looked at him. I didn't want to have to explain that it is much easier for him to pull the whole lot of photos over into Photoshop (takes roughly five seconds - select all, drag, it automatically opens with a little screen that you can scroll through and it does all the things that Aperture does) than it is for me to import and export continuously for no good reason other than his liking of the shift+ accent grave function that provides you with a magnifying glass.

It would take over 2 weeks to import everything back into Aperture. And then the ridiculously long workflow begins again.

Like I said, Shoot. Me.

Wedding Photos

2006-06-29T11:18:00.000-05:00

Wedding photo albums - online! I love the internet. I posted them to my facebook site for all my friends to see, then found out that I can share them with anyone--not just my high school and college friends that are members--just by giving this link.

http://byu.facebook.com/photos.php?id=17814918&l=3f1ad

Bridal Pictures

2006-05-24T18:08:00.000-05:00

So I had a session with my photographer--just me, her, my grandmother to help me carry my train, and my dress. Here are a few of the results. Unfortunately it was way too sunny that day for my blue eyes and I'm squinty in all of them. I photoshopped them (Jeremy got me Photoshop at home! Now I don't have to come into work to use it!) a bit to make my eyes look less squinty. I don't know that it worked.

This is turning into a photo blog as of late. I apologize. I will write again sometime soon. Probably after the honeymoon.

This last one was for Jeremy. He likes to golf. It said "Guest Services" on the side, but I photoshopped that out while still keeping the reflection. I am finally refining my photoshopping skills.

Engagement photos w/ Addendum

2006-04-12T00:32:00.001-05:00

I'm very proud of them so I'm going to have to post a few. In the second one I have some of the greatest hair I've ever had. I'm glad we got a photo of it.

This is our favorite

This is the magnificent hair. It just falls right. Click on it. Make it bigger. Prepare to oooo and ahhh.

Wishing my bangs weren't parted. Oh well.

I'm laughing instead of kissing him. Smooth.

And I'm laughing again. I kissed him "poorly" the first time (I puckered my lips--it just looked ridiculous), so I couldn't help but laugh the second time. And please excuse my George Washington profile.

I just like this one.

I'm done bragging about us now.

I had three 12-page papers due in the last 2 days. That was fun. Especially my Islamic Art paper. I'm just not interested by desert castles, which, unfortunately, I chose to write on. What was I thinking? They're like Steinbeck for me.

Finals are next week. That's all I want to say on that subject. That's all I want to think about on that subject.

I go for my dress fitting on Friday. I have a feeling it won't need alterations. The sample I tried on was the same size I need and it fit pretty much perfectly. A little long, but I remedied that with the shoes I purchased. I'm hoping I can bring it home on Friday. My grandparents are going with me.

Invitations go out in the next week or two. In all seriousness, if any Achenbloggers would like one, e-mail me at saramelander@gmail.com. I consider you all my friends. I ordered extras in case I forgot anyone or made a lot of new friends in the next month and a half.

I had my bridal shower last Saturday. Apparently about 27 were invited (I have yet to get my invitation--it got lost. Lucky I was told about it.) and about 40 showed up. How does that happen? Not that I'm complaining. An entire turkey was cooked for the luncheon so it wasn't like we were short on turkey sandwiches. And I got a haul. Everything from a trash can to a fold down ironing board to a sandwich maker to a decorative plate holder for the wall to lingerie. It was a lot of fun, too. I think there should be more bridal showers. I'm having another one in July when I go home to MN for the second reception. My best friend and my mother are collaborating.

I think that's about all for now.

Addendum:

Aroc reminded me about my neurological thing I've been going through. I had some nerve conduction tests that went fine and came back normal. So I had to have a spinal tap for the last test. That didn't go well. The tap didn't hurt, but it hurt afterward. And 48 hours later when I got up stiffly and took a shower, I got the spinal tap headache. My back hadn't healed while I was down. By that night I was almost crying like a baby and not ashamed to admit it because I've never had a headache like that (to hear Jeremy tell the story, though, he's never seen me so brave--I may be exaggerating about the crying) and so Jeremy took me to the ER where I got the blood patch. Had I known what the blood patch felt like I would have just stuck with the headache for a few days. That fluid would have stopped leaking on its own at some point. But no, I got the blood patch and wanted to die. The spinal tap came back looking pretty good and my vitamin levels are normal because I take vitamins. So they diagnosed me with an oversensitive nervous system and put me on a mild anti-depressant that isn't actually for depression, but for nerve pain. For the first time in 10 years I haven't feel pain or tingling for a whole two weeks. My feet also aren't nearly as claustrophobic. And I can keep my feet under the covers at night without them hurting. It's a great life.

The Life of Sara

2006-03-09T10:01:00.000-06:00

I'm not even going to apologize for not posting for over a month. I'd rather not even acknowledge it and just go on from here.

Lots of stuff has been going on. Good and bad. I'll bullet it for efficiency.

- Wedding planning is almost done. We've got the flowers, the cakes, the food, the music, the photographers, the decorator (I won centerpieces at a bridal show from the very decorator I was going to use), the dress (Third one I tried on)...I'm surprised at how easy it was. I've always loved organizing though, so it makes sense that I'd enjoy every minute of it. Our colors are citrus colors (white, orange, yellow, green and pink grapefruit). I have a bouquet of 2 dozen roses in those colors. Bridesmaids carry bouquets of green carnations. Jeremy has an orange rose. It works well. The wedding cake is lemon with white buttercream frosting, three square tiers with pink grapefruit ribbon around the base of each tier and decorated with mini citrus fruits. The groom's cake is spice with a sports car skidding across the top (we have a sports car--Mustang SVT Cobra convertible and it's Jeremy's baby) with chocolate bands around the base of each tier. It's two tier and round. Centerpieces are floral (all sorts of flowers in our colors) with limes cut up in the vases to add depth. Linens are yellow and white. My uncle Preston has an army band that travels all over the world to play and we got him for the music. We're having a dessert buffet. And last but definitely not least, my dress to the right (it's a Chanel--that excites me). You can click to enlarge and see details. It has great details. The back can be seen here. It has a gorgeous train. It's shown in champagne, but I got white. I'm traditional. Second choice was a Balenciaga, but I loved the details on the Chanel more overall. The front of the Balenciaga isn't as fun. It's also not as "me" as the one I chose. I went in planning to buy a flouncy ballgown type that I liked complete with tulle. I'd been admiring this Chanel from afar but I wasn't going to try it on because I knew I'd like it and it was out of my budget since I was buying my dress myself. But I gave in. I tried it on. I had to buy it. I have no buyer's remorse, either. I'm perfectly content and happy with my decision.

- Second item. Jeremy's parents are horrible. Because I'm quiet they think Jeremy shouldn't marry me and he will pretty much be disowned (just like their first daughter--she was disowned after she got married because her husband isn't exactly like their family either) when we get married. They just don't want to let go because they have made their children their lives. They don't even date. Without their kids around, I don't see their marriage holding up. Luckily they have 4 kids to go still. They've put us through hell. Jeremy is actually hoping they disown him so he won't feel obligated to go over there anymore. So now I NEVER go over and that makes them mad (Even though they've judged me to be unfit for them and they don't want me over there. Apparently I should keep trying to be who they want me to be and keep coming over for the criticism.) but neither of us want me to go over there. So at least it's a mutual decision. Even his younger brother has been sending me e-mails telling me that this is all my fault and I'm tearing the family apart. Dude. This all started just because they got mad because I was quiet and started chewing me out for it. This isn't my fault. This isn't Jeremy's fault. His dad is narcissistic to the hilt and has never been wrong. Never. And if you think differently, he'll flat out tell you that you're wrong and that you'll go to hell for thinking that way. I'm not exaggerating. He regularly tells his children that they're on their way to hell because they don't think they way he does and they should because he has it all right. And he's always telling his wife she's a bad mother. Hmmm....Someone needs to buy him a mirror. Or beat him up, I'd be satisfied with either.

- I have some sort of unknown neurological problem. I can be standing around or walking or sitting (so really it happens randomly) and suddenly all my limbs will feel like they've fallen asleep and start tingling for hours. (15 hours for my left arm is the record--that got annoying. That's when I finally went to the doctor.) And then after that stops I'm so tired that it's painful. MS was suspected because it runs in my family and I have all the symptoms (but MS mimics tons of other diseases so I haven't been that worried) but after a 2 hour (and absolutely terrifying) MRI last week it came back clear, so that's been ruled out. They're starting to think my nerves just aren't connected very well. I don't see that anything could be done about that, but at least we'll know what it is if that is the case. I have to have nerve conduction tests next week. Fun. I love needles.

- My mom was in town last week to do all the flower shopping and wedding dress shopping. She's hilarious. We had fun. And Jeremy loves her, so that's a plus. No contention anywhere in my family. I like the lack of contention.

- One of my best friends has a band called Ashbury. He's the lead singer. He's one of the smartest people I've ever met--we have funny conversations about Oedipus (trust me, it is possible). Anyway, he gets to open for Bon Jovi in Las Vegas. I had absolutely nothing to do with it obviously, but I feel it is my duty as a friend to tout him and Ashbury.

- I had a three hour midterm in Islamic Art and Architecture on Monday. I hate midterms. And they never seem to end. They're staggered. I have at least one test every week for the rest of the semester. I'm sufficiently tired of testing and writing papers.

- Everything is falling into our laps. For free (except the LoveSac). We have two couches (one that is ugly and will be put in the spare bedroom because it has a hide-a-bed and one that isn't ugly and will go in the living room). A dining set. Four vacuums. Four. I was worried that we would have a hard time getting one. I don't think we'll take all four of them--maybe 2. Two microwaves (in case one breaks, I guess). Bookshelves. A big screen TV with an entertainment center stand, so we have three TVs now. We got ourselves a LoveSac SuperSac for $100 cheaper than we had originally planned and we even got a better cover than planned. Sheets. Comforters. Quilts. KitchenAid. Coffee table. And this is before any showers or wedding gifts. I already have pots and pans and a new dish set with glasses and flatware. We have got to be the best equipped college couple around. I love people.

I should update

2006-01-27T14:17:00.000-06:00

Here's what has been going on:

- We found a wedding photographer. Finally. We love their pictures and the two ladies that do the photography (they can Photoshop their butts off, too, so we can get some cool effects in our pictures) so it should make for a fun and comfortable atmosphere. Plus, we get our negatives so we don't have to print the pictures through them. They also do custom invitations at a fraction of the price of other custom invitation places.

- My new job is great. I'm a photographer's assistant for a publications and graphics department here on campus. We also do freelance work. It's laid back and really fun. I'm working on a Mac computer though. I'm not a fan of Macs. But my monitors make my fiance jealous. I have two monitors--23" and 30". He almost drooled over them the first time he saw them. Another plus is that I have keys to the building. I can work whatever hours I want, as long as I don't go over 20. And I can use the dark room whenever I want so that I can continue developing pictures even though my dark room is still in Minnesota.

- We found an amazing apartment where they pay everything, so there are no surprise gas or electric bills. I'm going to move in and then once we're married Jeremy will move in. This means that after living in my apartment for a total of 3 weeks I'm already putting the contract up for sale. Not that I mind. Most of my roommates are pretty cool, but one gets really anal about Jeremy coming to pick me up for school and work every morning at 7:45 a.m. The apartment rules apparently are that men can't be in our apartment before 9 a.m. (I hear you mentally saying, "What the hell?"), so the fact that he's even knocking on our door before 9 a.m. pisses her off. Nevermind that he knocks and we leave. He shouldn't even be knocking at that time in her opinion.

- The post on Achenblog today and all the talk about dads reminded me that I should see what mine was up to. My dad is in jail. Again. I occasionally google his name along with "utah jail." I haven't done that for about a year so I thought I'd check it out today. It has never failed to let me know that yes, he is in jail yet again. He's such a winner.

- Wedding dress shopping is not always fun. I haven't yet tried on that dress I posted a picture of. I'm waiting until my mom flies into town to go with me. Right now I'm just narrowing the bridal shops down. One lady at a bridal shop basically treated me as though I was worthless because I have a short torso and will need the shoulders tucked. Her solution was to buy the dress 1 or 2 sizes too big so that only the sides have to be taken in, but then the waist line is down below my hips so the shoulders would still have to be tucked--I'm still trying to figure out her logic. All the other bridal shops had consultants that looked at me and said something like, "Well, you're petite all over" or something along those lines. I prefer those shops rather than the ones that want me to end up paying more for a huge dress that would need more alterations.

- We have our wedding cake and our groom cake nailed down. And we went to a bridal show where I won 8 free centerpieces from the company that I was planning on hiring to decorate for our reception. Talk about lucky. We'd only been there for about 10 minutes when they announced over the speaker system that I'd won.

- My schedule has gone through numerous changes. I've only kept one of my original classes--Northern Mesoamerican Art. The other five changed, most more than once. I'm taking Islamic Art and Architecture. I thought it would be boring but it's my favorite class. Islamic culture is very interesting.

- I have NO get up and go today. Ugh. Jeremy was asking this morning if I was okay. I'm fine, I just have no drive today. At all.

That's about it. My lack of drive is showing in this post. I don't really feel like having any sort of closing remarks, either. So I'm just gonna post this now.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

2005-12-28T08:24:00.000-06:00

I refuse to say "Happy Holidays" and further the ridiculous trend of down playing the religious overtones of the Christmas season. I trust anyone reading this of another religious persuasion to take it on good faith that I'm not attacking them by extending holiday greetings in their direction in a fashion they're not used to.

I will probably be taking a blogging vacation for awhile (from here and from the coveted and dearly loved Achenblog). I've had very little to say lately, anyway. I'm in a quiet stage. The fiance is currently preparing to drive 23 hours to get to me so he can take me back to school and move me into my new apartment in a week and a half--he'll be here tomorrow. Finally. So my next post will probably be from my new place.

I received an iPod for Christmas--the original one. 20 MB (GB? I don't know.), white, color screen with a photo library. I haven't used it yet. Jeremy needs to fix my computer before I really get crackin' with the iPod. It has a virus or there are too many "services running in the background" or some such computer nonsense. All I know is it takes 85 hours just to turn on. Forget about opening an application. I'm really only marrying him for his car (drool) and his computer skills. My mother also decided that she needed to help outfit my kitchen. So we got a set of dishes, glasses, silverware, a can opener, cooking utensils, a frying pan and a pan/pot that I don't know how to classify. It actually makes me want to cook. His parents bought us a KitchenAid and a power drill. He was excited--it's manly. More manly than a KitchenAid. I'm more excited about the KitchenAid. Oh, and I got a little stuffed dog named "Hobo" and the new INXS CD because you have to have some new music to put on the iPod.

I didn't think I wanted an iPod. I thought they were overrated. I felt that I didn't need all that technological mumbojumbo. My skipping CD player would suit me just fine. But when I held that shiny new iPod in my hands I realized that I had been full of crap. It's just so pretty. The hours and hours (and hours and days) of music it will hold renders me speechless.

I'll be back in a couple of weeks once school starts and I'm moved into my new apartment and I have something to say. Hopefully I'll have good news on the job front because as of 4:30 this afternoon I am officially unemployed. My last day at the gym was Christmas Eve and today is my last day at the City. Unemployment is a scary barrel to be looking down.

I fell hard

2005-12-13T13:30:00.000-06:00

I'm wearing new shoes today. They're significantly higher than I'm used to but surprisingly easy to walk in and very comfortable. I had just finished paying a stack of bills that I had to take back to a co-worker's desk for her to process and scan into the system. She's back by the coffee machine so I put some hot chocolate powder into my mug thinking I would kill two birds with one stone and stop for hot chocolate while back there. That was a bad idea. Right as I got to her desk I became aware that I was falling. I don't know how it happened. I've replayed it in my mind, I just remember falling slowly and, it seems, pretty gracefully. [Sidenote: I've always been a graceful faller. In fact, most of the time I don't end up completing the fall. I use my leg muscles to stop myself mid-fall. Or I'll change the fall into an exercise move. Whenever I step into a puddle and slide forward, when most people would fall I turn it into a walking lunge. I'm laughing like a fool as I walk away from my near-accident, but at least I'm not hurt (and I can do one less lunge at the gym that night). I look like an idiot either way, though. No one deliberately does walking lunges through campus on a rainy day.] So I completed the fall this time, but I bounced right back up (well, into a squat where I stayed for a few seconds laughing my head off while another co-worker said, "Are you okay?"). I assured her that I was [Only to find out later I have a rug burn the size of my entire knee (on my knee, that's how I'm getting my measurement)] and we both started laughing at the hot chocolate powder all over the floor. I realized I would have to call the custodian and explain to him that I am an idiot. Then one of the managers walked out, saw us laughing and saw the hot cocoa everywhere and I said, "I fell over." He joined in the laughter as he walked away. As did the finance manager. As did another co-worker in finance. And the custodian. And the other secretaries. I am the office clown today. I'm okay with that though because I'm having a hard time stopping my own laughter.

This reminds me of the time I fell down at the bottom of the stairs at the gym simply because I wasn't paying attention and was taken by surprise at the lack of another stair.

Also of the time that I fell flat on my ass a few days after meeting my fiancé because, once again, I was wearing tall shoes and trying to maneuver around objects in a room. That was the only time he hasn't caught me--he was in the next room. He has a pretty good track record when it comes to keeping me on my feet.

Also of all the times that I've done those walking lunge falls on rainy days while stupidly wearing flip flops through campus.

Or the time I sat back too far on a backless bench and fell backward off the bench. I actually got hurt that time, though. Chipped a bone in my elbow.

Also of the time that I fell 4 feet off a landing when I was startled by my phone ringing.

On the whole I am reminded of what a klutz I am.

I just heard that tonight we're supposed to have the biggest snow of the season. I hate snow. Speaking of snow, this reminds me of my dogs. (Did you follow that train of thought? 'Speaking of snow, here's my dogs!')

Luckily Kati has a new sweater. And weirdly, she was actually excited to have us put it on. She must be a perpetually cold dachshund.

CD of the Day: Mercy Me - The Christmas Sessions
Quote of the Day: "My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness." - The Dalai Lama

The Onion Horoscope

2005-12-02T12:02:00.000-06:00

"Scorpio (Oct. 24 to Nov. 21): Despite there being over 50 words for snow in Inuktitut, you will fail time after time to score cocaine while visiting the Yukon next week."

Well, damn.

Other funny ones:

"Virgo (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22): You will be forever labeled 'quixotic' after mistaking a field of windmills for the solution to the world's energy crisis."

"Libra (Sept. 23 to Oct. 23): Sure, they may be laughing at you now, but pretty soon they will have to stop in order to catch their breath."

"Aquarius (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18): The stars say birdwatchers from all over the world will congregate outside your home sometime next week to observe more than five distinct species of vultures."

and last but not least

"Pisces (Feb. 19 to Mar.20): You'll be forced to learn another lesson the hard way this week, but it's college-level differential calculus for engineers, and that's the way everyone learns."

Something I learned this week:
Honeymoon planning sucks. Yup. You'd think it'd be easier than the wedding. But it's not. It's easier for me to find a reception center, find dresses I like, find bands or DJs, find cakes I like, find invitations and make guest lists, choose a color scheme--all easier than picking a honeymoon destination. You know what else is crazy? The honeymoon costs as much as the wedding unless you want to stay in a Motel 6 in your hometown. I keep saying, "Jeremy, honey, I want you to take charge of the honeymoon. I'll take care of the wedding if you'll take care of the honeymoon." But even as I say that I realize it's unrealistic. This whole thing needs to be a joint effort, even if honeymoon planning pisses me off.

Also, apple cider when you're not feeling well--not a good idea. Just makes you feel worse.

New pictures

2005-11-29T13:11:00.000-06:00

Yeah, we're adorable together.
21st birthday with Anne and Nicole.

Coolest family ever. Kinda hard to see us. Just take my word for it.

I think someone said something funny and I'm laughing. My mom might have told us to say "whiskey" instead of "cheese."

Extreme close-up. I love that leather jacket. I'm a fan of the man in it, too.

My "blow a long distance photo kiss to Jeremy" sequence:

"Too close," "What am I looking at?" and "That'll do."

I'm not very talkative today so I will just leave it at that. Have a great Tuesday!

Obligatory Mediocre Thanksgiving Entry

2005-11-28T09:03:00.000-06:00

Seeing as it was my last Thanksgiving at home my parents, dogs and I stayed home and had a quiet Thanksgiving with the food the way we liked it. Last year my parents went to a friend's house for Thanksgiving where they had a potluck type of system. The person told to bring some stuffing brought cold wild rice with grapes in it. Good and healthy, but not Thanksgiving fodder. Thanksgiving is meant to be fattening. It's a day dedicated to starch and meat. It's the day you forget about the diet. (Except where pie is concerned. Pie is gross. But I probably ate enough pumpkin chocolate chip cookies to equal half a pie.)

After dinner we went to see our traditional Thanksgiving movie. We saw The Ice Harvest this year. It was supposed to be funny. We all found it pretty depressing. There were a few chuckle moments, but overall it was a pretty depressing movie full of drinking, strip joints, unhappy families and murders. Should have seen Chicken Little.